We won't sleep together?
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
