I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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