Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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