I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
