Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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