"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what day is it and did you see me today?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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