bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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