Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
