Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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