and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
