I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
