My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
