someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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