who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
