i don't like sucking hair
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
