k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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