yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
pop tarts are not kleenex
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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