dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
