I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
