a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
you never un-have a 4some
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
