are you still at the devil's house?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
