chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
