I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think your dad took our porno
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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