brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
