I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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