3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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