how can u be prego again
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
