i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
