just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
