I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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