is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
