I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
