She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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