she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
