Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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