Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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