I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
