I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
