it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
