why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
