do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
