Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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