just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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