No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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