I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
