i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
