come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
