my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
