its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
