Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize